Denial of a Harry Potter Fan

Let’s talk about denial. It’s one example of primitive defense mechanisms. It means refusal to accept reality or fact.
As a Harry Potter fan, I deny the fact that Cursed Child exists. Okay, the story has been released quite a while ago and I’m a bit late to write it in my blog. However, it’s my blog so I can write whatever I want here. 
I myself haven’t read the book or watched the play but the internet is dark and full of spoiler (mimicking Melisandre) so I read the spoiler and curse the plot because it doesn’t make sense. To be honest, it feels like fanfiction to me. 
I don’t want to spoil a lot here but let me mention things that bother me. First of all, Voldemort. Never have I ever thought that Voldemort was capable of doing that.
Second: Cedric. He was a kind person and what he does in Cursed Child is out of character. A kind Hufflepuff won’t do that. 
Third is Harry Potter. Really, what he said to Albus is unacceptable. Oh well, parents make mistake but again, that’s out of character, especially when this character is Harry Potter.
Enough of my ramble. I’m out. See you in my next post.


She’s home again. Sitting in her room, infinite sadness in her eyes. “That home is a mess. Why don’t you just leave?” people would tell her. “This is the mess I’m comfortable with,” she wants to say.

Not Allowed

“May I take care of your scar?”

“No. Every scar has story and I haven’t allowed you to enter my story. Beside, it’s scar, not wound. I can deal with it.”
“Will you ever allow me? I just want to help.”
“I don’t know.”

Out of Place

They stood in the corner. She wrote in her small notebook, he drew sketches. Both seemed out of place in the masquerade ball.

“Oh, you draw the lady with purple dress over there? Her hair is wavy. You draw her wrong,” she said to him.

He retort, “Would you please shut up and go back to your writing? What do you write anyway?” Then he took her notebook and read while mimicking her voice, “A newlywed man play single on the dance floor.”

Even when his face was covered with a mask, she could tell he was surprised. “What?” She asked.

“What was that supposed to mean? Play single? How did you even know that he’s newlywed?”

“I just know,” she replied. “Hey, would you like to dance? After that you can approach that lady in purple dress.”

“I can’t dance and I don’t want to approach that lady.”

“Put your paper and pencil in your pocket. I’ll teach you how to dance and talk to a lady,” she said while grabbing his right wrist.

“I talk to you all the time.”

“All right, correction then. I’ll teach you how to dance and talk to a lady other than me.”

P.S. I’ve never gone to a ball or masquerade so if this story sounds unlikely, please tell me. 


Sansa Stark and Girl’s Struggle

Game of Thrones season 6 is going to air soon. I’m a Game of Thrones completely internet fan. It means that I don’t watch the entire show and I don’t read the entire books either. I get information here and there from the internet and I can still call myself a fan, can’t I?

I’m curious about Sansa’s fate in season 6. Rumour says she will do good. I hope so because Sansa is my favourite character.

Why is Sansa my favourite character? Because, in my opinon, Sansa Stark is relatable. I guess every girl or woman, at some points in their life can relate to Sansa. There must be one time when a girl wants to speak up or put up a fight but hold herself because she remembers that “a lady’s armor is courtesy” so she put her armor of courtesy to protect herself, to keep herself alive. If you consider that a weakness, then you don’t understand. Some girls don’t have many choices and all they want is to be alive and safe, and safe can be defined in various ways.

I also adore Arya. Many times I want to fight like Arya but I remember that I don’t live in Westeros and I can’t stab people as I want. I don’t even know how to handle a sword. I think Sansa also wants to fight like Arya sometimes but she is aware that she can’t do that. 

After all, those Stark sisters show and remind me the struggle of being a girl.

Some Places, Real and Fictional

I don’t travel a lot and I haven’t been so faraway from home. I would love to. There are places I want to visit, both real and fictional.

In real world, Russia is still on the top of my places-to-visit list. I want to watch ballet in Bolshoi Theatre or take Trans Siberian railway journey.

In fictional world, I want to visit Westeros after the place is safe and peaceful enough. But when? We can’t be sure.

Westeros can be a great place to visit. From the cold North to fertile region of the Reach then to the desert of Dorne. I even consider taking Lady Slytherin to Westeros if she doesn’t mind. She’s not much into “A Song of Ice and Fire” but I guess she will agree to travel once Westeros is safe. 

Lady Slytherin is a fan of J. R. R. Tolkien so she may take me to Middle Earth in return. She has always wanted to go to there to meet Thranduil and rule the realm together. Let them rule, I will just visit the Shire. 

Another fictional place to visit, recommended by Elsa, is Cerulean City. I don’t know much about Pokemon but I think it would be a nice place to visit. If I happen to visit Cerulean City, I surely will hire Elsa to be my tour guide.

I ended up writing one real place and three fictional places. It may explain enough about my perspective.

In the Morning

She looked at her right leg, at the dark temporary tattoo contrasting her pale skin. Its colour started to fade. “I need to buy a new one,” she thought to herself. She considered having a new one on her waist, or her shoulder; anywhere only she could see it.

Once she wore her long skirt, the tattoo is covered.

Then she put on coral lipstick and practiced her smile. 

She was ready to face the day.

On Fandom and Beauty

I read the 133rd episode of webtoon comic “Family over Flower”. That’s the link for Indonesian version. I don’t know whether the English version is available. 

In that episode, the headmaster said, “Kecantikan itu seperti pedang bermata dua. Orang yang melihatnya akan merasakan kebahagiaan tiada batas, tapi bila terlalu terjebak di dalamnya, jantung pun tidak akan tahan.” In English, I translate it as, “Beauty is like double-edged sword. People who see it will feel infinite happiness, but if they’re trapped inside, their hearts can’t handle it.”

Wait, what?

That’s how I feel when I have my fangirl moment over fiction or band. I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it seems that my heart can’t handle so much feeling.

I guess fandom can also mean beauty.