A Strange Guilt

When I had KKN, I met a lot of people. Usually, my group leader talked and introduce us to the people we met. He introduced not only our names but also our majors. He even called me “future doctor” or “doctor”. 

To be honest, I felt guilty when someone introduce me as future doctor. Yes, it’s true that I’m a medical student and I want to be a doctor. However, I feel that, I haven’t tried my best in medical school. I waste a lot of my time  browsing random stuff or doing useless thing instead of studying. Many times I don’t make good amount of preparation for tests or exams. The mistakes I make in OSCE are often caused by my lack of practice. Beside that, there are a lot of basic medical concept that I still don’t understand. Being that kind of student, when my group leader introduced my as medical student, I sometimes wanted to scream, “Don’t mention my major, please!”
It takes a great responsibility to be a doctor and when I think about my laziness and ignorance, I think I’m not ready yet to be one.

4 thoughts on “A Strange Guilt

  1. As a person who needs a medical doctor to be knowledgeable and committed to being a doctor I am glad you are aware that you are not ready for that.

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