Denial of a Harry Potter Fan

Let’s talk about denial. It’s one example of primitive defense mechanisms. It means refusal to accept reality or fact.
 
As a Harry Potter fan, I deny the fact that Cursed Child exists. Okay, the story has been released quite a while ago and I’m a bit late to write it in my blog. However, it’s my blog so I can write whatever I want here. 
 
I myself haven’t read the book or watched the play but the internet is dark and full of spoiler (mimicking Melisandre) so I read the spoiler and curse the plot because it doesn’t make sense. To be honest, it feels like fanfiction to me. 
 
I don’t want to spoil a lot here but let me mention things that bother me. First of all, Voldemort. Never have I ever thought that Voldemort was capable of doing that.
 
Second: Cedric. He was a kind person and what he does in Cursed Child is out of character. A kind Hufflepuff won’t do that. 
 
Third is Harry Potter. Really, what he said to Albus is unacceptable. Oh well, parents make mistake but again, that’s out of character, especially when this character is Harry Potter.
 
Enough of my ramble. I’m out. See you in my next post.

I’m Exhausted

Being a co-assistant in hospital is exhausting and when I’m exhausted, I lose motivation to do things. I can’t even bring myself to review material. It’s also difficult for me to stay awake during lecture (yes, we still have lecture in hospital). I envy my friend who can stay awake during lecture and understand the material. They even have enough energy to discuss it with the residents. Seriously, those friends have no idea how lucky they are.

I’m trying though.

Forgotten List

I often have a lot of idea in my head for my blog post but I don’t write the post right away. I usually make a list of “blog post idea” so that if I have the chance to write something, I will write from that list.

The problem occurs when it has been a long time I haven’t written in my blog then I start blogging again and when I look at the list, I think, “I had this idea? What am I supposed to write?”
After that I usually write about something else that’s not included in the list.

“The Most Asian” Novel: My Experience with the Kite Runner

Few weeks ago, I read the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and it was amazing.

I will not spoil much but I will tell about my experience reading it. First, reading this novel in public place was a mistake. I brought the novel during my night’s watch duty in hospital and I had to hold back my tears many times. So I was happy when I could finally read it at home because I could cry ugly tears as I wanted.

Second, this novel is probably “the most Asian” novel I’ve ever read. The “Asian things” come in many forms: Asian pride, parent-and-child relationship, our attitude toward people of different ethnicity or religion, the gender biased norm, marriage, the taboo stuff, etc. Then I realise something: regardless of ethnicity, location, and religion, Asians are Asians. Some proud creatures we are. Well, maybe not all Asians but I live in another part of Asia and I can relate and understand those things.

This is one of my favourite quotes in the book which is also one of “the most Asian” quotes, “Because history isn’t easy to overcome. Neither is religion. In the end, I was a Pashtun and he was a Hazara, I was Sunni and he was Shi’a, and nothing was going to change that. Nothing. But we were kids who had learned to crawl together, and no history, ethnicity, society, or religion was going to change that either.”

I guess those “Asian things”, aside from the story line, are what make me love this novel so much. Because I could relate to it. Because it makes me cry and say, “Yes, right.”

Ugly Moment in Hospital: Death

I like fiction and fanfiction. I have a thing for fiction that takes place in hospital. I don’t know why. Perhaps because I’m a medical student so I like hospital setting. However, it changed recently. I’m a co-assistant and I’ve just spent 3 weeks in department of pulmonology. Those 3 weeks changed my perspective about hospital.

In fiction, there is this moment when a character dies and because this is fiction, we read some beautiful description that messes our emotion. In reality, death is … death, and it’s not beautiful. There is no narrator saying words describing the situation. It’s an ugly process which, in department of pulmonology, starts with worsened shortness of breath. Then the breathing stops, the heartbeat stops. Dead.

Another thing: last word. Often in fiction, the character says a word or two before death. I have never seen that. The person is too busy to try to breath. No last word before death.

No attractive face, either, I tell you. In fiction, you can imagine your favourite character as you want but many real people look miserable when they’re dying. 

So here is some “moral of the story” that I can give (which usually I don’t): while you’re still alive, attractive and breathing easily, speak. Do not wait until the last moment of your life to say things you’re supposed to say. However, also remember, choose your word carefully. Ah, it’s difficult, isn’t it? On one side, we don’t want to regret that we don’t say the thing, on the other side we will regret if we say it the wrong way. Oh wait, that’s a topic for another post.

And here I am, comparing death in fiction and reality while looking for good fanfiction to read before going to bed. Duh.

Lawful Wife and Mistress: Talking about Medical Study

Recently, I just found out that Anton Chekhov, the Russian author, was also a doctor. One of his famous quote regarding this was, “Medicine is my lawful wife, literature my mistress: when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.”

My friends and I laughed at that because never have we ever found medicine-related quote like that before. Now is the thing: every medical student that I have been close to has this kind of “mistress”, this thing that we spend our time with when we’re tired of our “lawful wife” in the form of medical study. One friend’s “mistress” is drawing, another one’s is cosplay, someone else has literature as mistress.

However, there is a problem when you’re constantly tired of your “lawful wife”. That’s what happens to me. Medical study is often demanding so I spend a lot of time with my “mistress(es)”: literature, fandom, and other things.

I think it’s time for me to remind myself that no matter how excited I get when I see my “mistress(es)”, it is my “lawful wife” that I made my vow to spend my life with.

Mess

She’s home again. Sitting in her room, infinite sadness in her eyes. “That home is a mess. Why don’t you just leave?” people would tell her. “This is the mess I’m comfortable with,” she wants to say.

Olive Oil on My Face

I mentioned Sarah Urie in my previous post. I you check out her instagram, you will notice that she sometimes promotes skincare product. 

One of the product she promotes is Omega 3.6.9. from LiftedSkin. I visited LiftedSkin website and found out that Omega 3.6.9 costs $39.00. That’s expensive for me. However, I really fell into “Sarah Urie’s trap” (in a good way) so I still wanted to have facial serum or facial oil. I then bought Wardah pure olive oil.
 
Wardah pure olive oil is not 100% pure, though. I read the ingredients and it has fragrance so I can’t use it for cooking (okay, sorry). When I bought it, it cost Rp 25.000,00 (about $ 2 if I’m not mistaken) so it’s quite affordable. 
 
The problem was, I had no idea how to use olive oil on face. Many sources say to use it for facial massage. Questions: How should I massage my face? Should I use only oil or with something else? How often should I massage my face? Some say to do facial massage before bedtime. Should I wash my face after massage or just let it be there and sleep then wash face after waking up? I know that last question sounds silly but still, please answer any of those question.
 
I “experiment” by mixing face moisturizer and olive oil then I use it to massage by following Annie Jaffrey’s youtube tutorial. I usually do it in the afternoon before nap. How long I wait to wash my face depends on my laziness. Sometimes I fall asleep for about 2 hours then wash my face after waking up. Is my “experiment” right?
 
Does it give me glow or twinkle on my skin? (Imagine twinkle on the skin) I don’t pay enough attention to that. However, it does make my skin smooth.